17/08/2009

Today when i gt ur message know tat u g to practice singing again.. my heart was.. wat a amazing news tat i gt.. know tat gt u to accompany mi for my dinner.. i woke up and preparing everythings ..we planned go tat "happy fruit Shop" for our dinner.. bt unluckyly.. its closed on monday.. we went to sumthing like gerai.. eat and tok for about 1 and a half hour.. just a short moment we ve been together.. bt for mi.. it was reali a big big happiness for mi.. thx ya <33 bt sadly .. i started worry you after u went back.. i scare ur dad saw mi.. i duno ur dad toking about mi or tat guy u said u meet at tat mamak.. i scare he beat u or do anything tat wil hurt u ..i scare T_T sorry.. i reali doesnt mean wil cause it on u..i hope tat can stay beside u always.. remember.. we promised each others be4.. " we nid to share everything together.. bad or gud.. we wil support each others anything anywhre" take care ..i love u<33

我只能低着头发呆,让回忆渗透脑袋渐渐变空白,我把它当做个意外,但内心还想不开,因为我明白其实你都还在,我想起了你给我的感动,想起我们之间的温柔,我想起了我们第一次牵手,我闭上眼想起当时你许下的承诺,把你整个心都叫给我,当你离开的时候.我什么都没有,我可以当作已释怀
他对我也算关怀他看不出来,我知道这样不应该,在他身上找依赖,算不算是种出卖?我想起了你给我的感动,想起我们之间的温柔,越是没用力越是心痛.................当你离开的时候


一天过了一天,我们隔得太远太远,多在乎你到底懂不懂,你有没有对我一点点心动,爱我的话,给我回答,等待是我为你付出的代价,我只等你等你一句话,走太远 你走太远 你的回答 听不见,一天过了又一天...

happy birthday to XXX who birtday is on 8/7.. maybe u might duno i noe who u mean actuali.. gratz to him and tat he sure wil be love it so much.. actuali i should take sum time and consider .. whether wat u told mi was just a lie or just one way for u to make urself feel better.. i m dam confuse about it.. its tat true from ur heart or? i duno.. i scare i cant stand anymorre....

u leave mi a side its over 1 month and 4 days.. although sum days we stil gt contact.. stil gt sms or call.. but heart.. also not reali can better after end up .. actuali.. maybe sad is just because i m just one of ur Fren.. maybe ba.. cause i noe myself clearly tat i dun wan be ur fren ONLY.. u told mi alot things.. since tat day .. i become like.. i even myself also cannot trusted at all.. i duno why i wil become like tat.. 1 week go for kaunselor twice.. those kaunselor suggest mi to do sumthing.. bt it cant work at all.. bt i admit tat i wil be better after i went for it.. u told mi be4 de.. mayb til 1 day u tink tat u have sumthing to tell mi ..u wil tell.. i belive and i m waiting for.. reali de.. remember last year u told mi i wil chase others then wil put u a side.. bt at the end.. i m stil chasing u and finali we together again.. although just a short moment for just 1 month.. in these days.. its bring us alot happiness .. i admit tat i did a big mistake on it and cause til this ending.. i tried and apologize for it.. i noe curently u stil angry bout it.. bt i can swear.. its just reali a "COVER" for mi.. i can tell any1 about it.. i duno whether its too late or wat.. i duno and i scare.. i reali scare.. no matter anything happened.. when u nid to tok.. or u wana to share something with mi.. tell mi .. u noe mi de.. no matter wat time is it.. whether i m busy or not.. u r always 1st in my heart.. remember.. u r not alone..we promised each others be4.. we stil gt alot things ..bad or good.. we wil pass it together.. help each others.. although just sum simple words that u told mi.. it become not Simple at all.. cause u in my.. R not simple at all.. trust mi.. i wil stil waiting..be happy and smile.. remember.. care urself.. dun make urself cry again.. everything stil gt mi to face with u.. <3>

Today 26th of july.. night time recieve ur message noe tat u at Salak South Basketball there.. then actuali at Cheras sending fren back home.. then ask my fren/ beg them sent mi there... rush there wit 140km/j.. lucky didnt gt any accident then can saw ... dam happy.. saw u there.. although just da few minutes u told mi u gtg.. bt reali nvm de.. very happy tat saw u there.. bt unlucky .. i saw something tat i dun wish to saw... "SiewFai Baby"... bt ur explaination is... "he wrote himself " for mi.. i try to lie on myself.. this reali da reason i accepted tat make myself not to simply think... saw u for just 10 minutes at 945pm... thx alot... take care urself my dear <3

long time didnt come here le.. maybe schol day quite busy... these 2 months also gt inter class basketball competition for morning section...today i noe u went for PRS AJK interview.. dun be sad lar.. everything wil be fine.. just some ajk position.. even just a normal member.. its ok wo.. u can think it another way.. no nid do so mani work... cheer r,,, ytd.. slept quite long time.. i love this message.. reali dam happy til.... Message ="i ad do al proces n prepare 2 slip ler...gud nite ler..mayb sum day..v wil b bac d i trust ^^" have a nice dream when u slip...<3

13/7/09 hari pameran of my school SMK Sri Sentosa.. volunteer to be "ghost" or club (Kembara) for our ghost house.. duty for few hours. dam tired...that thing i most hope it wont happen happened inside.. both of you came in and visit ..tat time i reali no mud for anything everything..haix..heard ppl said that u went for celebrate his bd.. let mi think back April tat time.. my birthday..haix..everythings tat i do...tat i walk..also gt our memories... wat a hard and sad day....

tomoro..13/7/09..hari pameran for our school SMK Sri Sentosa...since last year also preparing and planned that this was da last year i in this schol and the last chance to walk hari pameran...planned walk wit gf ..atlease gt sum special memories can leave for both of us..bt now...maybe she edi forget ..hope tomoro..wont saw both of them walk together in front of mi or pass by...just wil make mi sad and down...love u Fishy<3

亲爱的：　　 不知道从什么时间开始，咱们之间变得陌生了，每次通话都让我完全无法感知你的心，觉得你离我越来越远了，电话那头你的沉默每次都让我觉得好可怕，咱们之间那种无话不谈的默契突然之间毫无影踪，真的好可怕，怕的我的心在一天天变冷。
或许这次复合本身就是一个错误，短暂的相聚又长久的分离，很多积累的问题都没有好好的解决，以至于心越来越远，这不是谁的错，只是上天弄人罢了，还记得没有回去之前的咱们是多么的甜蜜，每天的相思虽然很苦却很美，对未来充满了希望和幻想，每一天都是美好的都是漫长而短暂的，现实总是残酷的，而老天又没有给我们弥补的机会，所以带着这种情绪和你分离，难免无法陌生。从那天起，我就已经感觉到即将到来的感情的灾难，只是不愿意承认罢了
分开之后，果然没有出我的所料，越来越少的通话时间和越来越少的联络，我就感知到你变了，变得我无法把握，无法感知，第一次知道了什么叫做距离和冷漠，。为此，我多少个夜晚无法入眠，因为我还爱你，怕失去你。在这种感觉的折磨下，我渐渐的觉得自己变了，和朋友一起去打球，去很多事情，去发泄，但肯定没有做出对不起你的事, 可是发泄完了之后,仍然是无尽的寂寞，无穷的相思，这让我快疯了…..　　 你变了，变得让我陌生，变得让我无法靠近。，那几天我什么都不想吃，什么都没有兴趣, 因为我在为我们的未来忧虑，可能你都已经忘记了，好几次你告诉我说身边的朋友在追求你, 我真的感觉到无法容忍，可是每次又不敢跟你说，告诉你我不在依, 怕你生气，怕你再发脾气，总是唯唯诺诺，百依百顺，要知道无论脾气多么好的人都会生气，我没有表现出来,但我很在意，我只是在没有人的时候，在你睡着的时候一个人流泪罢了。不想生气，可人总是感性的，不管多理性的人都是这样，总有伤心的时候 ，就是因为太在乎你，太爱你才会忍耐，可是这种忍耐带给我的却是一个人偷偷的伤痛，一个人默默的感觉着自己的伤口，感觉好累啊。　　 或许，你从来都没有爱过我，或许你从前爱过我，可是现在早已平淡，早已没有感觉，有的只是亲情在维持，只是你觉得我对你好，才说服自己留下来，维持一段亲情罢了。可能人所说的到底是爱他, 还是喜欢他对你的好, 就是如此吧，可是关键的是，你的心已经冷淡，我的心却还在火热，于是这种不平衡的感觉百般的折磨我，让我夜夜难以入眠，我真的想赶快走出这痛苦的沼泽，找到属于自己的空间，找到曾经的我！　　 我知道，我不应该怀疑你，爱人之间最重要的就是信任，可是我就是无法控制自己，听到你给我讲好多人好多朋友都追你，都喜欢你，表面上我无所谓，可是内心里面却无法欺骗自己，一股股的心酸却只有我明了, 听到你让我给你空间，让你有思考空间。那时的分手我不知道要如何挽留…　　 亲爱的，写这封信的目的，并不是想责怪你，并不是发牢骚，只是想让你知道我最近的心里状态，最近的烦恼。我要谢谢你，你把你人生中最宝贵的1年时间给了我，多少的欢乐，多少的甜蜜，让我这辈子都难以忘怀！你在我的心里面永远都是最美丽，最活泼，最有气质的女孩，这辈子都不会有任何一个人能够取代你在我心目中的地位!我只是好累，好累，想歇歇了。　　 最后，祝福你，无论在今后的日子里面有多少的困难，你都能够微笑面对，生活就是这样，当你无法去改变他时，就应该试着学会用乐观的态度去面对它。无论你今后和谁在一起，我都会祝福你们，爱你，就希望你幸福！学会改变自己一些吧，人无完人，要说真正的改变一个人的性格真的好难，可是努力总不至于让自己后悔吧。　　 再见了，我的爱人!我这颗滚烫的心最终也冷不下来，最终也是很想你，只是每当想起你的时候，有些伤感, 和辛苦。不知道多少年后，是否你还能记得在你的生命中曾经有一个那么爱你的人，曾经试图给过你幸福，曾经许诺和你共此一生

-jaff

12/7/09..broke up wit her 10th day.. trying to help myself to get out from da pain..bt it might be a mission tat most hard for me..although noe that she and him are happy and together right now.. also cant remember how mani nights tat can get into slip and sitting inside my rum..thinking back our memories..hand holding phone to type out some "heart message" for her..maybe its cant work..bt my heart noe tat.. just cant let her go like this... i stil loving her......